A Happier Time?
by MyBeautifulNightmare
Summary: I used to be happy you know? I just can't remember it, until it's too late.


You know, there used to be a time when I was happy? A time when I smiled and laughed, I was surrounded by people I cared about. There were plenty of people to love and to love me. I was never alone; I didn't have to depend of just myself. A time when I was happy, those were the days, it's what kept me going. But it seemed like I'm having a harder time remembering them anymore. And then I just… forgot.

Everything simply disappeared; I couldn't remember what I used to be like before this. Now everything is just cold and dark. Tearing at my skin to break free from the suffocation. I'm trapped in my own body; I'm a prisoner at war. I just wished for an end to it all. There was no one but the Voice inside my head. I'm all alone in this bitter world of ours.

Nothing is left here for me. All my friends, my family, they've left me. I don't blame them; I would have left as well. I wish to leave now. I can't though; the Voice thinks this is a game. He finds pleasure in my pain. Enjoyment in my suffering. He tells me that the longer I live the longer he has his fun. I'm too tired to argue with him anymore, I go along with what he does. I've given in.

Maybe this is why everyone left me?

But the Voice whispered to me that I wouldn't have to suffer anymore. He found fresh meat to play with. And as I stared at the stronger through the cracked glass with the bottle of sleeping pills sitting in front of his crossed legs I wondered if this is what happiness was. The Voice was finally letting me go, I didn't have to be in pain anymore. He told me that I took these I would be able to sleep again. I haven't sept since he came to me. That must have been a year ago. The Voice kept me awake, more time to play he told me.

My trembling fingers bent down, wrapping themselves around the orange bottle. The Voice was gaining pleasure from this. The stranger in the glass smirked at me, watching me with those black eyes. I shook the small pills out onto my palm. There's twenty-five pills. I picked up the first, placing it gently on my tongue. The Voice encouraging me to keep going.

Twenty-four pills

Twenty-three.

Twenty.

Eighteen.

Sixteen.

Twelve.

Nine.

Seven.

Five.

One.

Zero pills left.

I dropped the empty bottle to the floor, in front of the stranger with the black eyes. I pushed myself off the floor, swaying gently. My vision began to blur, my legs felt like lead. I collapsed onto the bed, the gentle echo of the Voice's laughter lulling me to sleep.

'Poor dear little Stiles," The Voice mocked," It has been fun settling down with you for this few months. But at last I believe it's your turn to go. Poor little unhappy Stiles, believing no one was there for him. No happiness for little poor Stiles. Before I go I thought I should leave you this memory for you. Maybe after replaying it you will regret what you have done. My, that would certainly be interesting to see. Yes that would, poor little Stiles regretting what he has done when he remembers happiness. I might just stick around and see. Yes I think I will."

The Voice snickered again. I didn't understand what he was talking about. But I mostly never do. The blackness started growing, until my whole sight was incased in darkness. Then suddenly a light flickered. Was that a voice I heard? I've heard that voice somewhere before. I just couldn't remember. Why can't I remember?

The lights flickered repeatedly faster and faster until the pieces of lights put themselves together. A picture became clearer, there was a man. Do I know this man? I'm I just dreaming? Am I dreaming of someone I know? This man looks familiar. That leather jacket, I've seen that before somewhere.

The man was handsome, I've got to admit. His dark hair and eyes, a small smirk at the corner of his perfectly shaped lips.

"It's good to see you again Stiles" the man said.

He wasn't looking at me though, I looked at the other the man was talking to. It was the stranger from the cracked glass earlier this evening. The stranger looked more alive, his eyes were a light brown instead of pitch black. Wait, why did this man call the stranger by my name? Why am I remembering this? What is happening?

"Same to you, Derek." The stranger, Stiles, grinned.

Derek stepped forward wrapping his arms around Stiles. The two men stood gripping onto each other as if they were holding on to dear life. The scene faded to black again. And then another set of lights flickered. It was of Derek and Stiles again. Was this Stiles supposed to be me? If I were this man, why couldn't I remember this happening?

I gazed upon Derek and Stiles, or myself? They stood standing next to each other, sneaking small noticeable glances at one another. Derek and Stiles looked happy together, this Stiles possibly couldn't be me. I was never happy, and I don't remember this man.

I stood off to the side, watching the two talk and laugh with each other. I watched as Stiles would lean into Derek when talking to him. Derek listened patiently as Stiles rambled on about this mythical creature he spent half the night before studying on. Derek would just then shake his head and laugh, wrapping his arm around Stiles' waist.

The scene faded again and new sets of lights flickered. This happened for what seemed like forever. I watched as Derek and Stiles grew closer and closer together. I watched them fall in love and be happy. I watched them share kisses, hugs. I've seen them cuddle on the couch and watch movies until an ungodly hour. As they fought side by side with others. When it was the full moon and Derek grew into some form of creature. Every memory these two share together I've seen. I've met more friends of Stiles. His best friend Scott, with his crooked jaw and goofy smile. Allison, Lydia, Danny, Jackson, even his father.

They were all happy together. They were all one big family. I couldn't possibly this Stiles, I don't recall any of this happening. I don't have a happy memory like this in all of my body. There was never anyone to love or to love me. I don't understand why I'm watching these.

One last scene comes to play, this time it's different. It's the stranger from the mirror. His black eyes and crooked smile, smiled teasingly at Derek across the room from his.

"Stiles." Derek breathed.

"I'm sorry but Stiles isn't here at the moment, I can take a message for him if you would like." It can't be that's the voice, that's his voice. The Voice that's in my head. This can't be. I'm not this Stiles. I was never this happy. I never had someone like Derek or Sheriff Stilinski in my life. Why couldn't I remember any of this? What the hell is happening?

'Oh poor dear little Stiles, this is you. It has been you the whole time. It's been happy little you with your little werewolf boyfriend and werewolf best friend. It's been you this whole time. You just never remembered any of it because I didn't want you to remember it, more entertaining for me that way you see.' The Voice spoke for the first time since this all happened," In your dying moments I thought I should bring some memories back to you. Payment for letting me live in here for the time being."

The darkness came over me again. The Voice laughing again, getting pleasure. The selfish bastard. He took everything from me. And he was going to win in the end anyway. After everything he has made me do, made me believe. Those happy memories didn't matter anymore I'm dying. This is going all according to his plan. There was nothing left for me to do. I waited too long. I'm never going to get back to that life.

I can feel it coming, like I was falling from a cliff and I'm finally drawing near the bottom of it. I gasped for breath, panicking in my last moment. For the longest time I wanted to die. But now that it's here I'm terrified.

'Looks like it's my time to go. You're near the end, there's nothing left for me.' The Voice whispered.

Slowly the Voice slipped out, and left me here. All alone to die by myself. I couldn't fight anymore; I'm falling to fast now.

"Stiles! Come on Stiles, don't you dare die on me." A voice ringed in my ears," Don't you die, God don't leave me Stiles. After everything the pack did to try and help you are not leaving. Please don't leave me."

The voice whimpered, a cold wet drop hit my cheek. Soft lips found their way onto my forehead. The man whispered sweet nothing to me. It mattered no more. I couldn't remember any of these happy memories. If I had I wouldn't be here right now. I would still be smiling and laughing with the ones I love. But it was too late.

I'm sorry Derek that you had to be here when I died. But while I suffered in darkness at least you had the chance to recall on those happy memories of the two of us. I'm sorry and I love you.


End file.
